Wednesday, May 07, 2008

'Twas the night before layoffs.....

Found on the Merck Company Board at CafePharma:
'Twas the night before layoffs and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse

The reprints were stacked near the dumpster with care
Beside the ROME items, this just isn't fair

I hid my computer right under my bed
Maybe at checkout I can claim "it went dead"
My car it was free, and so was the gas
And now rising oil prices will bite me in the ass

When out on the lawn there was a loud holla
Merck security was there to take my Impala
"Have a nice day" the old man said with a laugh
I peered from the window as he cut the AMEX in half

The moon it was full, and it shined down on my home
And he twisted the knife as he grabbed my cell phone
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
A sleigh driven by Ken Frazier all loaded with beer

I rubbed my eyes and thought it a vision
Ken said "Thanks for being part of the Vaccine Division"
A sleigh full of suds, I appreciate that boss!
It's worth more than the stock options that I must sell for a loss

Failed inspections, bad press, and lawsuits galore
Have hammered the stock price right into the floor
"Optimization" is a buzz word, of which I've grown tired
Ken should play Donald Trump and tell me "You're fired!"

Oh it was a nice run, Merck once had great style
But then along came the results of the Enhance Trial
I thought a nice long career was gonna be mine
Now I'm riding my bike to the unemployment line

Maybe this change will be for the better
At least I won't have to hear about the next Unapprovable Letter
There's lots of advice these days for soon-to-be-"displaced" pharma people. Steve Woodruff over at Impactiviti Blog, for example, urges "Be Prepared - like, right now!" and offers 8 "straightforward" steps to build a wider professional network.

Let me suggest one more tip:
Attend the 4th Annual Pharma Networking Dinner Reception (click here for info) if you are in the NY/NJ/PA area.

If you are a "displaced" or soon-to-be-"displaced" pharma employee (in either sales or marketing), this would be a great place to meet people who really need your expertise.

I will offer you a $35 discount if you FAX me your termination letter from a major pharma company!

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