50 Ways to Use Social Media

Sung to the tune “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” by Paul Simon

"The problem is all inside your head", FDA said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be AER free
There must be fifty ways to use social media

FDA said it's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to use social media
Fifty ways to use social media

You just Tweet the right way, GSK
Make a new Blog, Janssen-Cilag
You don't need to be coy, Daiichi Sankyo
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Novartis
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop the key(word), Lilly
And get yourself free

Ooo slip out the back door, Bayer
Make a new plan, Allergan
You don't need to be wiser, Pfizer
Just listen to me
Hop on the grid, Orchid
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop the search ad, Gilead
And get yourself free

FDA said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways

FDA said why don't we both just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning you'll begin to see the light
And then FDA sent me a warning letter
Boy, that didn’t make me feel any better!
Still, there must be fifty ways to use social media
Fifty ways to use social media

[See here for some REAL ways to use social media; warning, not all of these may be FDA friendly.]