OH MY GOD! DRUG SIDE EFFECTS KILLED KENNY!

I just received a press release in my email inbox announcing the creation of "South Park Pharmaceuticals." I kid you not!

WEST HILLS, N.Y., Aug. 13, 2013 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) -- KannaLife Sciences, Inc. ("KannaLife") and Biotech Inc. ("Biotech"), 50/50 joint venture partners of South Park Ventures, LLC announced today, the creation of South Park Pharmaceuticals, Inc. ("SPPI"), a pharmaceutical company established for the purpose of developing, testing, marketing and selling botanical medicaments, naturopathic compounds and phyto-medical products for health and wellness.

Jason Cranford, CEO of Biotech stated, "It is becoming apparent to 21st century Americans, that well rounded medical practice in the U.S. must include a firm understanding of "Traditional Medicine" (also known as "Alternative Medicine"), currently practiced by 80% of the global population. If it weren't the case, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (the "FDA") would never have published "Guidance for Industry Botanical Products" in 2004."



Dean Petkanas, CEO of KannaLife added, "Having witnessed the FDA's openness towards the eligibility of Hemoxin, a phyto-medical compound to treat Sickle Cell Disease, and having granted orphan designation for the same, given today's environment and technology, the viability and potential of cannabinoid and endocannabinoid based therapeutics should be well received. If nothing else, Dr. Sanjay Gupta's documentary 'Weed' which aired on CNN on August 11, 2013, and the citing of the U.S. Patent 6630507 'Cannabinoids as Antioxidants and Neuroprotectants' during his interview with CNN's Wolf Blitzer should start to straighten out the badly distorted scientific record regarding cannabinoid therapy."

South Park Pharmaceuticals intends on participating in the national initiative recently referred to as "bold and audacious", by Francis Collins, MD Ph.D, director of National Institutes of Health (NIH). On April 2, 2013, this "bold and audacious" plan was revealed by President Obama, during a joint press conference with Dr. Collins. President Obama stated that the U.S. Government has allocated $100 million in a public-private initiative to map the brain and gain greater insight on "how we think, learn and remember", and to "better understand and treat disease ranging from autism to schizophrenia".

I am all in favor of legalized "cannabinoid therapy" (see "Big Idea for 2013: Legalization of Marijuana. Will It Hurt Pharma?"), but with the widespread use of other  "bold and audacious" traditional medications, I envision the following "South Park" scenario: